Funniest messages defenders have mailed you

[Jimbo2189]

I get quite annoyed with the constant flaming etc. But a few make me gigle:

Subject:
go on then I dare you. Come zero me.


errr ok!!


Subject:
uh? your gonna take my land. I would rather you sent lets instead of flack.


Subject:
Seriosly dont attack me, your so gay. Whats your problem. Trust me Im the best player on this game it will be a mistake to even bother. please recall

[Yeadon]

I attacked him too but he didnt mail me. Maybe he didnt mail me because i already knew what would happen with him being the best player in the game :D

[tobapopalos]

These ones aren't from a defender, but from an attacker that thought he was uber.

Private Sent by: noob of uber1337 omg i'm amazing Tue 22nd Jul, 2008. 14:02:18 GMT Reply Forward
Subject: re:
You are obviously not playing at the highes level.
n00b.

Dont mind messaging back. You bore me.
-----
don't try and intimidate me. if you think i'm just going to not defend then you're obviously retarded. i've played this game at the highest level and not been intimidated by much better players than yourself.
-----
You are an even better target. Stop defending or get incomming.


Admittedly, my reply was somewhat bigheaded, but I've had so many of these messages from noobs thinking they're awesome that I felt like telling him to f off. He then put me on ignore and sent me a stream of messages.


Private Sent by: same noob Tue 22nd Jul, 2008. 14:04:05 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
Yes, you really do bore.


Private Sent by: same noob Tue 22nd Jul, 2008. 14:04:18 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
Highest level.
Roflol
Look at you now.


Private Sent by: same noob Tue 22nd Jul, 2008. 14:04:32 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
Not even close.
Not in a million years


Private Sent by: same noob Tue 22nd Jul, 2008. 14:04:43 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
Have fun with the fleet


Private Sent by: same noob Tue 22nd Jul, 2008. 14:05:01 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
Do I need to mail you the link to the manual?



What a tard.

[f0xx]

Oh, that HDTV guy is good, he is in more ignore lists than me... I need to change tactics, I am falling behind :(

[tobapopalos]

There was also this one from the same guy. After he had put me on ignore I sent 101 troops at him for a joke.

Private Sent by: Tue 22nd Jul, 2008. 14:37:06 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
If you want to spell LOL, send 707 troops
n00b


I'm pretty sure 707 would spell "tot"?

[Garrett]

funniest one of this round (and yes I got the land)

Private Sent by: hahahahahahahaha [jaja] Tue 22nd Jul, 2008. 04:08:59 GMT Reply Forward
Subject: re:
Or a seventeen year old with a son that could care less about pop culture.

xxxxx (name changed to protect the... silly)
-----
nah you just aren't up on pop culture to catch any of my multiple references. it's ok. you probably stay locked up in a closet or an advanced 12 yr old trying to sound cool.
-----
...why would a club sparkle? That isn't my fancy. You could have just directed me to a Flinstones advert. I think it would have made more sense. But thank you for giving it your best.
-----
i will shorten my message so you may grok me appropriately:
i have club, i smash things. repeatedly.

does this sparkle with you?

-----
Oh, ok. I love how you try to talk with some amount of intellect, which.. I am sure you might have. Not everyone does. But, ... unintelligbly? Uhm'.. I will let you send me a correction back, kay?

Kay.
-----
you mumbled something unintelligbly. something about wanting to give me acres. so i'm here to collect
-----
Didn't I talk with you earlier? Are you honestly trying again? Rotfl. Sad, sad, sad.

[Yeadon]

Haha toby he does sound like an uber naab :P

Why would anybody "Not Defend" if somebody asked them too :P Rofl!

[Lukey]

There was also this one from the same guy. After he had put me on ignore I sent 101 troops at him for a joke.

Private Sent by: Tue 22nd Jul, 2008. 14:37:06 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
If you want to spell LOL, send 707 troops
n00b


I'm pretty sure 707 would spell "tot"?

Look upside down its like italic "L"

[atsanjose]

There was also this one from the same guy. After he had put me on ignore I sent 101 troops at him for a joke.

Private Sent by: Tue 22nd Jul, 2008. 14:37:06 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
If you want to spell LOL, send 707 troops
n00b


I'm pretty sure 707 would spell "tot"?

Look upside down its like italic "L"


lukey is right :P

centuries before you guys started using leet speak we ancient ones knew that LOL + LOL = hihi
:x-mas:

[Kariko]

an advanced 12 yr old trying to sound cool.

Hate to flame but...this comeback proves negativity towards some gamers aged around 12. I remember when i was 12! managed to play just fine on bush, but they're are quite a few who think just cause your 12 years of age means your not up for the task to play a simple tick based game :P Overall very silly comments!

[Sneaky]

u all nerds :P

[Augustus]

There was also this one from the same guy. After he had put me on ignore I sent 101 troops at him for a joke.

Private Sent by: Tue 22nd Jul, 2008. 14:37:06 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
If you want to spell LOL, send 707 troops
n00b


I'm pretty sure 707 would spell "tot"?

Not if you do a headstand and squint you n00b :P

[Garrett]

funniest defender to date. would have conversation with drunk person again.

they last ticked themselves and bought up on gurus and should have blocked me i thought so i sent this message below... hilarity ensued.

Private Sent by: Funniest person of the round [xxxx] Fri 01st Aug, 2008. 03:46:25 GMT Reply Forward
Subject: re:
oh i will. i guarantee it.

through all hours of the night...

at least until i pass out.

at that point, if my shoes are on, magic-markers and water-paints are beyond fair game.

if i wake up looking like an oompa-loompa, it's my own fault.

at least i'll have some added character when i go out for brunch :D
-----
oh **** yeah rock on.
-----
booooooooooooooooyah!

emphasis on the "boooooooooooooooooooo" part (for having lost land)
and the "yah" part (for having the opportunity to steal more)
we helped each other out!

teamwork ftw?

yeah! ftw!!!!

you rock.

like a boulder...

kirby dance?

ohhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

<("<)...(>")>...^('o')^...(>"<)...(>")>...<("<)...^('o')^
-----
lol no worries. best defense post i've had. evar!
-----
hehe, i dont know and i dont really care :D

you're stealing my land = me losing score = more opportunities for stealing more land!!!

more power to ya! if ya do it again, that's dis-respect and landfarming, which really does suck...but i promise i wont blame you, just dont kill ma troops :D i need them to get my acres back...

but if you do decide to attack me again anyways, no qualms between us, a game is a game. especially a war-game. just leave my troops alone, we'll simply protest silently the fact that you're trying to exploit us!!!!!!!!!!


ayup, ive had a few drinks :D
-----
that's crazy. i don't quite understand... did seed thieves get a buff??

[Alcibiades]

That's an ally member of mine, i'm pretty sure anyways Garrett, it's got his attitude, hilarity and insanity written all over it ;)

[tobapopalos]

There was also this one from the same guy. After he had put me on ignore I sent 101 troops at him for a joke.

Private Sent by: Tue 22nd Jul, 2008. 14:37:06 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
If you want to spell LOL, send 707 troops
n00b


I'm pretty sure 707 would spell "tot"?

Not if you do a headstand and squint you n00b :P

And if you read it the right way round like any normal person I'm pretty sure 101 is a better way of doing it.

[Souls]

That's an ally member of mine, i'm pretty sure anyways Garrett, it's got his attitude, hilarity and insanity written all over it ;)


Smoke, no doubt ;P

[Jimbo2189]

Had another classic today:

Private Sent by: xxxx of xxxx[xxxx]

Subject: re:

because your very obvious bluff is incredibly flawed, you have no cloners! :P
-----
(a few ticks later)
Why havent you recalled
-----
OMG, how could I have been so stupid not to realise
/me recalls
-----
thats what my cloners have cloned from robotics players
-----
you are a ROBO player you have no stealth
-----
dont you realise I have steath troops.....noob



I suppose you have to give him credit for trying!

[tobapopalos]

Lol. That's a pretty good idea, but it does rely on you being an idiot :P

[Jimbo2189]

i know, for a split second he had me, becuase i thought i had missed the cloners on my first Hax, but to be honest anyone is going to re hax them to check if they have cloners :D , plus you would have to be fairly exraordinary to be able to clone over 5 mill of all teched robo units!

[Wacky]

Private Sent by: XXXXXXX Sat 30th Aug, 2008. 17:30:45 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
well youre gay

Private Sent by: XXXXXXXX Sat 30th Aug, 2008. 17:22:36 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
you cant send anythin else to attack noob

Private Sent by: XXXXXXX Sat 30th Aug, 2008. 17:22:18 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
yeh but all you got is ninjas

Private Sent by: XXXXXXXX Sat 30th Aug, 2008. 17:10:35 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
and wat are you getting after ninjas

Private Sent by: XXXXXXX Sat 30th Aug, 2008. 17:09:29 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
oh yeh look at wat military is affective you will be very surprised

Private Sent by: Noob [XXX] Sat 30th Aug, 2008. 16:57:38 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
i have lvl 3 robotics

This is a military player.

[Alvestein]

jimbo that last one is hilarious XD actually loled :p whoever that player is, i want to atk him so he sends my funny mails :(

[Garrett]

oh yeah so the defender starts at the bottom. this one has made me smile at work. thanks whoever you are...

Private Sent to: the defender [xxxxxxxxx] Wed 29th Oct, 2008. 16:19:04 GMT
Subject: re:
don't get upset. it's me not you. I've been so busy with work. you know my career comes first.
-----
i missed you too. You never called me anymore, wasn't the other night special enough for you? you always leave me behind like that...
-----
sup baby? I've missed you.
-----
hi girlfriend

[pinpower]

Just read garretts post and reminds me of a funny convo between me and someone attacking me...more people should be lighthearted!

I start with the first message at the bottom.

Private Sent by: Cool of Attacking Dude [6969] Thu 30th Oct, 2008. 17:59:14 GMT Reply Forward
Subject: re:
:P
-----
bring him along...theres enough to go around!
-----
lol ooh stop, my boyfriend might get jealous :P
-----
how could i forget you...the things you did...the way you held me...the way your eyes sparkle in the moonlight...
-----
ooh you know me :P
-----
hey sexy!

[TaO]

Private Sent by: XXX of YYY [????] Sun 02nd Nov, 2008. 20:08:52 GMT Reply Forward
Subject: re:
I hope you choke on it...
-----
Been there done that x)
-----
in your dreams
-----
and im good at it, aint i ;)
-----
lol... ya... too bad you dont live closer... different continents, but youre still a cock sucker
-----
Holland
The Hague
-----
sure!!! where do you live... ill come right over and cut your ****ing throat.
-----
you want some?
-----
you are a cocksucker!

[Alcibiades]

charming fellow

[KrezyDo]

Lol Garrett, that was me. I was really pissed off to see you attacking me, but our lil convo brightened me up and really put a smile on my face :) The battle was fair and clean though, so no hard feelings :D

[Garrett]

Private Sent by: A sexy attacker Tue 12th May, 2009. 13:39:48 GMT Reply Forward
Subject: re: we can

ME**
we can cyber, as long as you've updated your antivirus and uploaded your patch ;)
**
Attacker**
hmmm i dont have a antivirus :|

we could still do it tho, i want it
**

ME**
ok but remember to pull the disk out at 99.9%!
**

Attacker**
lol :) maybe cuttin the power cable would be safer!
**

My attacker makes me laugh.

[f0xx]

Hehe lol i hope u dint sent LET it would be a shame to loose almost all your troops with my AR 75% and your range so high hehe

--------------

Alright, lets use common logic here.

I am att for 3, if I had triggered it would be SAS and you would know that I have LETs there. Since you don't know whether I have lets, it is a bit obvious I didn't trigger, not even police.

You = lose
I = win

--------------

Hehe u got me i got 7 ticks left before the goverment can defend me due to 6 hours time of leaving an aliance , so after this its all good

[Matthew]

F0xx the messages are supposed to be funny, not just you being a dick to people who mail you.

[f0xx]

Tbh, if you are not finding it funny, there can be only one reason why.

[Alcibiades]

it's more of a 'oh you newbie' funny than a truly 'laugh out loud' kind of funny.

There *is* more than one interpretation of 'funny' Matthew ;)

[Garrett]

There *is* more than one interpretation of 'funny'

unpossible! just like failing english


(ralph wiggum ftw)

[Alcibiades]

There *is* more than one interpretation of 'funny'

unpossible! just like failing english


(ralph wiggum ftw)

Lol!

Arguably you could say that there is only one kind of fun-knee*; but that's splitting heirs* and altering spelling for the sake of attempting to be humerus*.







*puns intended.

[Matthew]

Tbh, if you are not finding it funny, there can be only one reason why.

that it isn't actually funny? :O

[f0xx]

Nah, that you were on the other side of the convo.

[Matthew]

Shame my ID is public, check if its me if you like? You'll be sadly mistaken.

[Asmodeous]

Lets keep on topic shall we? I would hate to have to send out some funny warning messages. :P

[Jase]

Pure noobism at its best, i sent 6m gargoyle as a rush, eta 2 when he could send pb so i would kill everything at id first tick and his ally member mailed me this:

Private Sent by: id was here [####] Mon 18th May, 2009. 08:01:12 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
Hey I'm gonna defend Number 1 with 10 million petrols, save your dudes


Private Sent to: id was here [####] Mon 18th May, 2009. 08:05:04 GMT
Subject: re:
Please do... i dare you to defend against me with 10mill petrols


Don't think he understands what 6m garg would do to 10mill pb :o

[Leash]

Private Sent by: p'd off defender after I had just hit em [Range] Tue 01st Sep, 2009. 02:41:53 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
go f@#* yurself asshole
yur f@#*ing pathetic wanker

.......then, he decided to send a follow-up, lol

Private Sent by: still mad I caught him offline [sent away:(] Tue 01st Sep, 2009. 02:50:24 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
now sing after me ...

"i'm a wanker but i'm OK
i suck ass all nite
and play sh*t all day ..."

[Davis]

I attacked him
*
Private Sent by: Calm [xxx] Tue 01st Sep, 2009. 21:14:22 GMT Reply Forward
Subject:
Good Luck :)
*

i found out he was online so i recalled, and sent out all to another ID
He then attacked me
so i mailed back

*
[noid] wrote:
even better luck ;)
*

he then replied

*
Private Sent by: getting cocky [xxx] Tue 01st Sep, 2009. 22:07:59 GMT Reply Forward
Subject: re:
I don't need luck when your army is out attacking someone, lol
*

so i replied
*
you do when i'm in the rank 1 ally :)
*

and then i got defence from my alliance and this is where he freaked out

Private Sent by: NOW HES MAD! [xxx] Tue 01st Sep, 2009. 22:17:57 GMT Reply Forward
What a *****, you had to cry to your alliance for help. Your lucky your allied with "voice in your head" because one on one, I would have destroyed you. Go cry to your alliance you ***** and suck all their dicks so they will send people to protect you. You faggot

[Alcibiades]

wow... someone clearly doesn't understand the point of alliances ;P